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1_123125_122953_2290534_2301802_110818_tgw_hipgroovy_tn.jpg.CROP.original-original Everyone wants to stay young. The adage, “Youth is wasted on the young” may have been coined by Shaw, Wilde, or Twain–who knows? Perhaps it was said by a middle-aged person living the mundane life with just nostalgia to get through the day. Or the average, late twenties/early thirties, unaccomplished, living-vicariously-until-something-significant-happens, adult. The point is: once one acknowledges they have entered the land of adulthood, time and age play a dramatic score in the background like a Broadway Musical (i.e., very hard to ignore with a 50% chance of enjoyment). Sometimes, unfortunately, what is “young”, “hip” and “pop” is envied and, in turn, consumed with gusto and unapologetic fervor by those who no longer “bear the right” (for lack of better words) to do so.

SLANG  noun
1. a type of language that consists of words and phrases that are regarded as very informal, are more common in speech than writing, and are typically restricted to a particular context or group of people. “grass is slang for marijuana”

synonyms: informal language, colloquialisms, patoisargotcantjargon “the street slang was a bit rough for his uptown ears”

You have seen it and heard it all your life. You have used it on more than one occasion. Chances are you still use it in informal settings. What is in question is not if you use it but whose slang are you using and why?

What the hell is a “HUN-TI“?

When Tyler Perry’s Madea says things like this, it is frowned upon by most of the world. In fact, most Tyler Perry characters say the most bizarre, fractured words-turned-slang ever conceived and it’s frowned upon and mocked. But… as soon as you dress it up with Louis Vuitton, a hashtag (sporting the latest Ray-Bans with Twitter on the side), it’s suddenly cool enough to come out the side of everyone and their grandmother’s mouth? Someone explain that discrepancy, please.

“Cause if you aint on ‘FLEEK‘ you ain’t about nothing ‘Hunti’!”

Admittedly, most millennials had no actual idea what a Fleek was [Hint: Not a group of specific animals], as context clues are a thing of the past. Despite that, there are still hundreds of thousands, spreading this virtual verbiage as if it passed the literary test. No, you should not look it up and no, you should not hashtag; no, you cannot pass go if “FLEEK” is saved to your phone’s dictionary. Just think of it as the moment in Mean Girls — “Fetch” should and would never be a thing and neither should fleek.

“But ‘FOR FAKE‘, she ‘LOW KEY‘ was a ‘THOT‘ with ‘NO CHILL‘.”

If you have the ability to decode the previous sentence, either you are bilingual or just a fluent Redundidiotic [a hydrid word to classify or label this new movement of informal language for tweeny boppers]. Hopefully, it’s just the former. “Oxymoron” used to be a word you knew the meaning of and hoped you’d get to use one day in some essay you wrote. There has never been a time [unless one acknowledges, unfortunately, the whole “No Homo” phase] when people have been so concerned with being so detached from what they are doing, FOR FAKE and LOWKEY is commonly placed in such innocuous dialogue you begin to wonder if the person is for real. And since women still fight for equal rights and continue to be objectified, it’s no surprise that all females are THOTS including, your mother, grandmother, and baby girl in the womb. NO CHILL…there is no reason to even begin to dissect absurdity, if it isn’t obvious all of this needs to chill in a deep dark place no one has ever heard or seen.
You know how White folks can’t say the word N*****? Shouldn’t that apply to other distinct groups/culture regarding particular words, as well? Technically, it does. There are words people use all the time amongst themselves and sometimes its offensive but other times it’s a form of unity and comradeship. So, when everyone decides they’re a QUEEN, that must say, YASSSSSSSSSSSSSS, because their best friend is SNATCHED and no one can throw SHADE today. Doesn’t a little part of you wonder when this person went to the Gay Parade, marched or voted in the booth for gay rights? Are they aware 35 states has now legalized same sex marriage and that LGBTQ is more than a few choice letters to hashtag? That never crosses your mind? Why not?

CELFIE, the incorrect way to spell Selfie. Selfie, has acquired the right for its own blog post and everything wrong with it. No other comments will be made on the topic, for now.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program — it’s easy to get lost in the world of media and television series with reporters like Don Lemon and Y-list celebrities such as Stevie J & Joseline. Therefore, stating the word “FACTS” before or after every statement might make sense. Except it’s not a fact when in the middle of a conversation someone is only highlighting an opinion you agree on. If you’d like to blame your misappropriation of the word FACT on CNN or any national news network, it’s the only time you will get a pass. But as a reminder–the definition of FACT was learned in grade school; don’t let them fool you. Now, RATCHET is a great term to use in describing the shenanigans and debauchery happening on Reality T.V. with Y-Listers. However, one should not use it everyday to describe multiple people and/or events. If you do, perhaps a lifestyle change is in order or you may yourself be ratchet. In that case, the paragraph above applies to you and you are more than welcome to say it. No one has ownership over language, but even colloquialism and idiolects are used specifically and even sparingly. Slang is a beautiful thing, but anything when abused will begin to lose its value. The point is: if you have to Google it, urban dictionary it, call a friend, or ask a child, it’s not for you and shouldn’t be used by you. Yeah, it’s the newest, coolest, shiniest thing, but it won’t make you any hipper, younger, or popular. What’d be more impressive is busting out a trisyllabic word in the right context. Try it sometime; someone will notice.