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Blog, Blogging101, Life, Pop culture, Social media, Technology
You know you’ve visited a blog or two, where halfway through the 152-word post, you wondered ‘Why did I even bother reading past the first sentence?‘. Let’s be honest; posting:
a) a new outfit, [“Loving my over-sized sweater and skinny jeans with boots” (which is as original as peanut butter and jelly on toast)],
b) rambling thoughts, [“I dunno, Should I stay in tonight or do my laundry?”], or
c) a diary entry, [“Today, I’m writing about how I’m supposed to type words on a screen and I hope everyone reads it. These are my words. I hope it’s good. :-)”]
Is a crock of S***
or, in nicer terms, a waste of time reading narcissistic drivel.
Here’s the problem with social media platforms: 85% of the users expect 100% of the users to care about their mundane lives and non-events. At first, it seemed like Facebook was the only culprit of this disease. You know– accumulating as many “friends” as possible who could ultimately like everything you post, from your poorly made breakfast to your “Good Deeds” Challenge where you helped no one but yourself (As $5 alone never fully helped any homeless person, but it did get you a new video to post online!). Soon after The Facebook, along came the ever-so-popular and glorified Twitter, allowing you to post countless tweets of horribly executed sentences in 140 characters or less on how KeKe Palmer will be the best thing since sliced bread, Chipotle, and Starbucks combined; not to mention the incessant tweets on your far-from-perfect-but-let’s-pretend-it’s-perfect life because I must be interesting in 140 characters or less. (If birds chirped as much as people do, the cacophony would have been ended years ago with a nuke). This was followed by the development of Instagram–that is, Twitter with basic photo effects. Now Nicole from Westbubble**** can post her half-nude body twerking as #Ananconda #TheNextNickiManaj and become the most followed non-celebritiy since Kim Kardashian.
Unfortunately, this disease has infiltrated the world of blogging as well. Once upon a time very few, select individuals took time out of their lives to share and express meaningful moments, thoughts, and wisdom in a small community where the main motivation wasn’t to have someone else click 
or 
but was to genuinely read, share and converse. If you were to randomly go through your reader right now, you would find at least 50% of the postings wanting. Eventually after reading a few, the question pops into your head, ‘Why is this person posting a blog when writing a personal journal is an easier option?’ And that’s only if you are actually taking the time out to read anyone else’s blog… A lot of “bloggers” are not; they are to caught up in posting insipid, vapid, inconsequential content for which they expect: Comments they don’t actually respond to; Views & Likes because they can win a token on their stats page; and ultimately, Followers that do all of the above at your expense. You wouldn’t pay for garbage in a dump (hopefully), but here, you are expected to do just that with no benefit to yourself. Unless, of course you are hoping that latching yourself to said blogger will reward you with a follow as well. In that case, you yourself are the blogger we speak of.
In childhood development, children up to the age of 5 are only aware of themselves, having a narcissistic, egoistic view of the world. Every and anything must and only revolves around them. They aren’t capable of group play because they don’t have the cognitive function to realize others are actually being affected by their actions. Aopinionatedman recently posted a blog about Bloggers with high followings making no time for the newbies and giving respect to get respect. Yet, one could argue based on the nature of a lot of blogs, can anyone really be upset? Social media, at this point, has transported most back to their childhood years; all attention must be on “me”, lemme take a selfie, praise my macaroni art, if you’re not my friend then I’m not yours, look at me! look at me! read my blog! And with this culture, comes an overwhelming pressure and/or expectation to be “Nice”. It’s like having a best friend who’s done something absolutely wrong; and instead of telling them, “hey, that was wrong”, you say, “It’s okay. I understand” because friendship means unconditional support (aka enabling). But it doesn’t– it’s about telling them when they are wrong and when they are right. Keeping balance is what makes for a sound foundation/ support system.
Take these words as advice from a close, dear well-meaning friend. Seriously, ask yourself “Why do I want/need to blog?” “What do I gain and what will others gain?” “Why should a complete stranger read what I have written?” Once you have answered these questions, if it doesn’t sound selfish, self-absorbed, or like Bulls*** proceed to continue your journey as a blogger. But if it does–perhaps it’s time for a little introspection on what it is you are missing in your life and how you can fulfill that on your own time. It may be the purchase of an actual personal journal or weekly hangout with a close one, or joining a common interest group. Of course, this all goes hand in hand with being self-aware… and everyone isn’t capable of recognizing these things.
It sounds more like you have difficulty with people that like things you don’t like. Why not read what you do like then the rest won’t offend your sensibilities.
I pose this to you: If someone, a given person isn’t capable of recognizing they need to be self-aware, is my world less? Does a kitten die somewhere?
The purpose of what I write is to express my thoughts unfiltered. People who like different things than I do isn’t the issue. Also, in order to find what I particularly find stimulating or interesting for me, I first would have to read it, no? As I am going to take out the time and read your blog but I can’t know before hand what the contents are.
Needless to say, ignorance is bliss didn’t come from anywhere.
In spite of my tone in this blog, I appreciate your point of view.
I also appreciate yours. You are very well spoken and easy to understand what you get at. I agree particularly on the part about collecting faux friends on social media.
Reblogged this on HarsH ReaLiTy and commented:
I get your point here, but I agree with Red Rose that I place more of the responsibility on the reader and not the writer. We blog because we can, it is free, and it is a great release for people. My reasons for blogging are no different than many others, but because I have worked hard for an audience it is often perceived as different. I am a selfish blogger in MANY ways and I think we all need to be a little selfish to realize our own worth. That doesn’t mean we can’t still reach out and help others to grow at the same time. Thanks for the nice mention and for the pingback! -OM
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I do agree with the sentiment of being selfish for one’s personal growth and of course we should reach out and help others. But I don’t think I view you as different because of the nature of your blog it’s because of the work you put into it. That is something I personally value and so yes I’m going to perceive you as different. But I still can’t say it’s more so the readers responsibility as we do both read/write, I think it’s equal.
I suppose. I do like to present a spread if I can. My board isn’t one topic and I like that. Thanks for the kind words! 🙂
But do we expect other people to like whatever we hash out, and, if we do have such an expectation, does this lessen us or make us narcissistic? (Or: Do we hope other people like what we hash out, etc.) Even if readers pass our writing by . . . are we still changed for the worse? I’d answer, but I don’t know.
I don’t expect people to like everything I write, I didn’t expect anyone to like this post but do I hope someone will appreciate it, yes. I don’t think it lessens us to want to be liked, after all that’s apart of humanity. But I have always questioned at what lengths will someone go to be liked and the relationship between that and becoming completely caught up in your own orbit; and having unrealistic expectations.
Those are all good questions and observations. I definitely connected with this.
I already know that everyone won’t like what I write, because I write from my voice and in my life offline a lot of people don’t care for me or what I say. That’s okay. I can’t say I am unaffected. That would be a lie. But I don’t base my self esteem on it. I weigh and judge what views are constructive and which are bashing.
Yeah, that’s one of the quicker routes to insanity: basing your self-esteem on what others say about your writing or ideas. I myself need to get better at weighing and judging which comments are actually helpful and which are little more than attacks. I was glad to read these comments.
I read this because of Opinionated Man’s re-blog. I can see your point but I also think that just because you don’t enjoy reading something doesn’t mean others won’t. Good luck finding more interesting reading 🙂
Thanks, you are absolutely right. I’m sure after this reblog I’ll find a slew of interesting reads.
To be honest I had to check myself several times on social media. And there where times I even had to take a break when my motives wasn’t pure. It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be popular with followers and likes. This post touches on what many people go through but dont have the courage to admit. I takes it as a reminder of why I started blogging in the first place; to help others and to be creative. Yes I like to have more followers and reblog and I think that normal. But I get what you’re saying here and this is a must needed post. Thanks!
Thanks, I’m glad you understand where I’m coming from…I know I’ve had my moments on one platform or another where my focus wasn’t pure either. And I can own that which actively helped gain back perspective and ultimately change. I just really appreciate genuine work and creativity.
Yes! You remind me that an acquaintance online once cornered me, so distrought. I was so worried, and of course, I have time to listen. I listened, and I was glad that there was a screen dividing us. He was upset about a particular person liking someone elses post and not his.
What? Please don’t ever let me fall into that. Slap me or something. I have enough real troubles.
Lol..right!
It’s an ugly place to be that so many get caught in.
What a great post!!!! This is food for thought!
Thankers! Mission accomplished. 🙂
People can do whatever they want in their blogging world. Everyone has different desires and tastes. Many people might be turned off by your no BS style. I prefer such a style though so I am glad I stopped by.
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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I found this because of OM’s reblog. I enjoy the irony of reading a blog about why people shouldn’t blog. I agree that if you write for the sole-purpose of seeking validation from others then there are probably better platforms for doing that or you should just constantly post a succession of cute cat photos, because people always seem to like them. But if after reading 76 words you aren’t enjoying the blog then maybe just stop? (And it only took me 15 seconds to slowly read the preceding 77 words of my comment)
15 seconds huh? Lol For the sake of argument they say each penny adds up, if you spend a decent amount of time reading wouldn’t those 15 seconds add up as well? But I get it, responsibility of the reader if not for you don’t read. With that being said I don’t think that’s the solution to my issue in question. But I appreciate you taking the time to read my post, irony and all.
That is a good point. There’s the saying ‘look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves’ and I’ve never been great at managing money or time! Personally I love the distractions of getting lost in a world of blog posts and I usually waste much more than 15 seconds on each one, whether I like them or not. I then complain I never have enough time but I accept that’s more my failing than anyone elses. I think you have also put a lot of us on the defensive fearing we are the ones wasting yours and other people’s time. We all want to imagine our random words will at least resonate with some, even if they wont be for everyone, or we would all just keep them to ourselves.
YES! And there you have it, I have automatically place people on the defense but if you can say this that means others are thinking it and can get beyond it while not taking it personal. As, I am just meeting you for the first time.
With that being said, I can own that I get caught up and probably need to accept some of the time wasted is my fault. But a part of what I’m asking is….”would everyone keep it to themselves”? And I don’t think that they would.
This is a very powerful post, I believe this is the reason why I have lost interest in Facebook. Social media can be very powerful when it is used in the right way.
So true, I recently had a conversation on what would be the right way and how could that happen…or be the common use?
I don’t think it is wrong to talk about a great movie you saw, or take pictures of a nice vacation from time to time. What I do find disturbing is that many social media outlets have become nothing more than a place to post meaningless videos or boast about how we are doing “big things”. I feel that media outlets should be a place where individuals can have a healthy dialogue about issues within society that we all experience. In addition to this social media outlets are a perfect place to promote change while providing knowledge to others.
“I have automatically place people on the defense but if you can say this that means others are thinking it and can get beyond it while not taking it personal.”
I’m so happy to read this. I wish more people could debate well and not take it personally. I am glad to read you and appreciate your candid comments. I suspect we agree on more than we disagree about.
Cheers!~
As much as I do agree with you in some aspects, this is a problem that solves itself. If somebody reads and follows someones blog, then let them do so regardless of the (quality of the) content. You can get around these kind of texts by appropriately following the blogs that make quality texts so that the content of your reader is mostly things that you like to read and not “bullshit” as you define it.
That’s one quick fix, if the only way we read blogs were through our reader. I don’t find that appealing at all, it may sound like I’m just peeved and saying get loss “bullshit”, but it’s more of–is it ok for there to be no accountability, responsibility, and standard when it comes to social media platforms and it’s contents?
Well, it’s social media, not traditional media, and the whole point of is that anyone can write/blog, whether it be of quality or not. As for accountability, responsibility and standard, they are all desirable but who is there to define the standard? If we really were to set standards on social media, there would be groups of people who would never be represented thus making the system somewhat elitist and unrepresentable of the society. Almost everyone is, after all, doing this for free and therefore they should be able to do it on their own conditions.
I created my blog because I have no choice but to write. It keeps me sane. The added bonus I found was connecting with others, finding people who relate to the same things I do, which is often a helpful lifeline for both myself and many others.
I have what many consider to be an extraordinarily challenging life. I’m a single, unemployed (unless you consider a paper route a real paying job) mother of two special-needs kids. Yet I don’t think of myself as special in any way in regards to my problems. Everyone has them and what I consider small might be devastating to someone else. I don’t deny them that, nor do I deny them whatever level of grief they may experience because of it, be it a flat tire or a chipped nail.
Why am I writing about this? Because I can equate this with the content of my blog compared to someone else’s. If they want to write about their day or how their scrambled eggs turned out, who’s to say that someone won’t come along who can commiserate? I’ve had more comments on some of my stupider posts just because the commenter needed a laugh and a break from their every-day life to discuss something entirely removed from his or her problems.
I suppose what I’m saying is, don’t judge. If you don’t like it, move on.
But I can also say, with every bit of irony and humour, that I appreciate this post and I sincerely hope that getting this “out there” has helped.
Cheers! 🙂
Sure, I can understand where you are coming from and I’ll probably read one of your “stupider blogs” and enjoy it, perspective is relative.
Quite true. 🙂
I agree with kelly@writingmoment. The interests are as varied as the number of people. What catches my fantasy may not catch yours. Still your post was a nice thought provoking read.
In a world where anything goes, I say let the reader decide, and evolution will sort itself out. It seems a rather futile pursuit to lament on people navel gazing, and I would say even damaging given “regular” people (particularly women) are only just learning how to be truly creative and are extremely insecure to do so (not all of us are brilliant writers off the bat). Of course we want approval – we are human – but at the essence of all this is that we want to be heard. Creativity and expression is inherently coming from the viewpoint of our own lives. I enjoyed your perspective nonetheless, as like I mentioned, all of our views are a part of this big ol’ amazing social media thing! It’s new to all of us. Thanks for this post. 🙂
have always had a problem with “social” media. But not necessarily that I want everyone to read everything. I do, however think that it is the most unsocial platform. for example: are you actually only able to like 5000 items, people, etc? to me, this is an unreasonable expectation placed by Face Book. I like more than 5000 books, which means I like more than 5000 authors, and this list keeps growing. As an author, I like more than 5000 services. I expect to have more than 5000 likes. I want to be able to make friends, even if I do not know who they are.
But Face Book has placed a limit on how many people, items, and services you can like. some of the people there are quite unsociable and are alarmed when a total stranger asks to be their friend.
Came to the blogging world recently to escape the Facebook and Twitter drivel crapfest. To me, this is an oasis compared to those, but I do see little hints of what you’re talking about. Just don’t be shy about hitting the unfollow button when necessary.
Sure, I can hit the unfollow button, I suppose my question is do we have a right to say something to said blogger? or is that seen as pretentious and a know-it-all. As, some believe apart of the experience is giving back and encouraging growth.
I don’t think it’s an issue of having a right, so much as whether it is necessary to say. They might be happy displaying their new hello kitty pants and shoes, and that may not be for me. But they are happy and that’s okay.
You started up a great conversation here. ^_^
p.s. I unfollow all the time. It is more honest, yes? I am older if that makes a difference in how I view it but I guess I don’t really see that as mean but a choice, like I would choose a book to read.
Drivel or not, everything provides information and insight that is precious. If you don’t care to read it, that’s ok. It’s not like the internet is running out of room 🙂
But good post, following!
Lol, you got that right. Good ol’ internet.
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Love the Southpark shoutout! That episode certainly makes you take a closer look at your social media use…
I really enjoy reading your blog! In fact, I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award. You can read all about it (and accept your award!) here: http://thrivein1455.wordpress.com/2014/10/08/award-season/#more-599
So, I happened upon this through Aopinionatedman. I am very green and very new to this, but I have to chime in! I am an early childhood education teacher and teacher educator. I could feel my blood pressure start to rise when reading what you were saying about children 0-5, and then when I kept reading, you provoked me…We are not “friends”, but I want to tell you in a friendly way that what you say about young children is wrong. That’s not an opinion, but rather a statement representing the most current research on young children.
“Egocentrism” is definitely relevant to the way young children think, but you are not representing it accurately. It has NOTHING to do with narcissism…that is a purely adult construct and has very negative connotations. Egocentrism is the way young children organize their understanding of the world, which is completely logical and positive. An infant touches a ball, the ball moves, they are surprised. They reach for the ball to try to replicate. Over time, they build an understanding of their hand as a tool for moving balls. As humans, we need to understand the world in terms of ourselves, and young children are simply developing that.
Further, this does NOT mean that they cannot relate to others…they can! Research shows that even young infants are capable of empathy, and even one-year-old toddlers are capable of “putting themselves in the shoes of others” and imagining other points of view. They simply don’t have the same language as adults yet, so adults don’t easily understand and identify this.
We are all born competent, creative, caring, and inventive…we are educated out of those things. Quality of experiences between 0-5 has been shown time and time again to be the most important predictor of things like academic success, career success, relationship success, tendency toward violence, likelihood of ending up in jail, lack of empathy, etc. When we marginalize children ages 0-5, and trivialize the life stage they are in, we put ourselves and our society in danger because we block the critical understanding of the importance of this time.
Now I’m not a researcher in this area, so what I’m about to say IS opinion and not backed by research…but I would hypothesize that trite uses of social media have nothing to do with a regression to early childhood (we should ALL think and act more like young children…they are not yet tainted by society’s pressures) but rather lack of support and understanding for early growth and development, and all the chaos in people’s lives that can ensue as a result.
Longest comment ever, I know, but it’s an important distinction!
I am aware of this…but it’s to make a point. I’ve learned about it as well and work with children. Sorry, you were so offended.
Thanks for the reply! I want to clarify that my response was not about personal offense or apologies. You made a call in your post for us all to keep ourselves and each other in check when considering content for our blogs…I agree. I think it’s critically important to use accurate information to make our points, so I hope you will consider this to be what it is…a friendly provocation in response to yours.
I’m sure my own blog has inaccurate information on it because it’s about learning something completely foreign to me. I’m doing the best I can, but I hope that people will tell me when I’ve misrepresented something.
I think you are getting sidetracked here. I don’t think this is misinformation. I think she is using adult language (since she invariably is talking to and about adults throughout the post) with the experience that looks quite similar in presentation (and is normal and acceptable) in children [i.e., egocentrism]. Egocentrism is not the issue in adulthood… I didn’t get the impression that she was actually trying to label children as narcissistic and egoistic by adult terms (as she said ‘view of the world’, not personalities), but more so that they present as such.. in order to bridge the gap of how childish “me me mes” seem.
I also don’t she is saying that people are literally regressing either, but is describing this behavior as an adult as unacceptable and rather “childish”. Actually, it CAN be regression for some adults depending on what is spurring such defenses.
I disagree about us all acting more like young children. It seems that you are inspired by them… which is awesome for you. But it is also disappointing how your zeal led you to speak for 3 paragraphs about about a literal interpretation of a few sentences… while not bothering to address the actual subject of the blog.
Not speaking for everyone, but I did not take any of what she meant to mean anything problematic or unhealthy about children. (And this is coming from someone with tons of developmental education and experience). I think all that you said was VALID, with many great points, but unwarranted in this case. I think you missed the mark here.
Thanks for the intelligent and well-written response! You might be right. but I WAS responding to the subject of the blog, and it is my fault if that was not communicated clearly. Her call was for users of social media to examine our motivations, and also to be willing to “genuinely read, share, and converse”. Execution and content was being critiqued. She says that we are largely unwilling to tell each other when we’ve got it wrong. Well…a piece of the argument was wrong, and I’m willing to say it. I agree with her that it is part of our responsibility, in life and in the blogosphere.
When writing pieces meant to be provocative, I think we need to be prepared for the type of debate we might provoke. Further, if we are going to use theory as evidence for our provocation, we need to be sure we’re representing it accurately. If we don’t, we risk debunking the very argument we mean to offer.
I respect your opinion and you have made some valid points.
Social Media has indeed, propelled us to a “fast food”, instant gratification, accept me, love me, look at me society.
~However~
People sought validation, approval and popularity before the advent of the Internet and Social Media. It’s certainly not a new trend nor is it a trend that is going to disappear. It is simple human nature to seek acceptance from others. Some people are naturally more “in your face” about it.
Personally I have a tendency not to judge too harshly. We are all insecure about something. I look at Facebook as pure silly fun. It irritates me when users try to “save the world” using FB as I think it’s absolutely the wrong forum to do so.
As far as Blogging is concerned mine is full of poetry which I find is the best way to express myself. Selfish Bloggers like selfish people eventually reap what they sow.
I don’t look for purity, I look for individuality.
To me, that is self-awareness.
Is there any platform which you think could “save the world”?
Most major online News Outlets, newspapers and magazines have comment sections or threads where like minded people can discuss current events and issues. All with strict guidelines and moderation policies that prevent users from posting selfies or any other material that isn’t relevant to the topic.
All the best to you. I wish you continued success with your Blog.
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I’ve been surprised. Things I thought wouldn’t matter get (relative to my usual) a lot of views. Things I think are thoughtful, inspired, and beneficial don’t always fare as well. Some stuff I post just for fun because it’s my blog and I can, especially if it falls in a category I’ve posted about before. But I fear it becomes easy to post something “just to have a post that day” or post something banal without putting any thought into it. “Here’s a cool YouTube video. Here’s a funny cat pic. Here’s a vaguely motivational picture.”
I know I scroll through my feed and open maybe 25-50% of the blogs in another tab for later attentive reading. Some of the stuff just doesn’t interest me.
And that’s OK. That’s the purpose served by the Reader, my selective Follows, and the effort a writer puts into a good title or hook.
I like what OM does, disciplining himself to interact on blogs and not just spit out posts or comments (especially the dreaded “I wrote a blog about this, check mine out at LINK.”)
I’ve tried to follow that example to some degree, and as I get to know the people who post all this variety of subject matter, some of them matter to me more than a hopeful Like or Reblog. And that’s, I think, what counts.
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I’ve nominated you for the lovely blog award! Come see what it’s about at http://sotiredofmeblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/17/one-lovely-blog-award/
Thanks for the nomination.